Autumn Anxiety Is Real

September 22, 2016
Autumn

The Huffington Post headline proclaims, “Autumn Anxiety Is Real, And Treatable.” Huh? I never knew that the onset of shorter days could trigger a definable anxiety disorder. Until Lev died, I never paid much attention to the length of days, the hours of sunlight. Unlike most parts of the country, in South Texas fall holds the promise of a break in the heat, when we …

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Obsessing Over Omelets

September 15, 2016
omelet pans

For more than 50 years I’ve cooked omelets–and nothing else–from the original 8-inch French Chef Omelet Pan, designed by the Boston Pot Shop for Julia Child in 1962. My copy of her famous cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, dated 1963, devotes more than five pages to how to make omelets and what to cook them in. I mastered omelets, and for many years they were our standard Sunday …

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“I’ve got rhythm…”

September 8, 2016
jitterbug

Ha! Don’t I Wish? Rhythm was never my gift, and seven years in my school band did not change that. As a bassoonist, my role in ensembles was to maintain the rhythm—the beat—of the music, but I never mastered it. My classmates could pick up a pair of drumsticks and know what to do with them. Not I. Unsurprisingly, I was not a good dancer, …

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Eulogy Virtues Extraordinaire

September 1, 2016
Autism Speaks

All this from the daughter of a Bronx cop who believed in love, loyalty and the absolute responsibility of those to whom much is given, much is expected. I first heard of Autism Speaks when I explored the historic downtown district of Nantucket four summers ago. Almost every shop window had some sort of display, and many were providing a percentage of their profits that …

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Our Values and Virtues Matter

August 26, 2016
Steps Beach, Nantucket

Several days ago I wrote what I envisioned as my next blog, “Eulogy Virtues Extraordinaire,” about the remarkable life and legacy of Suzanne Wright, co-founder of Autism Speaks. But when I tried to categorize it—one of the essential steps of preparing a blog for the web—I realized it didn’t fit in any of my neat categories: Arts & Culture, Book Review, Cooking & Entertaining, Flowers …

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Never Tell a New Widow to Relax

August 18, 2016
Relaxed

I have just returned home after two months on Nantucket—my happy place, the place where I completely relax, where even writing a weekly blog slips to the bottom of my list of priorities. It took me four years to get to this place—literally and physically—and so I keep going back. If I were wiser, I could create this mental space anywhere; but telling me to …

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Mothers and Daughters

August 4, 2016
Mirror, mirror on the wall

After my husband died, I worried about my future. I had been robbed of the most significant person in my life. And every holiday, every major life event where Lev was absent was a new robbery, new bereavement. The losses kept coming, and our family was not prepared. Nobody warned us that death was only the first loss. When I did not fall apart immediately …

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The Siren Call of Never Never Land

July 28, 2016
Sunrise Over Nantucket

Nantucket—My Happy, Healthy, Healing Place I have found my Never Never Land and its name is Nantucket—a remote island once occupied by Native Americans, then claimed by Englishmen, home to pirates on occasion as well as to whaling captains who captured the imagine of Herman Melville. In many ways, it resembles the Never Never Land of J. M. Barrie’s imagination. And like Peter Pan, I …

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It’s Not Too Late

July 7, 2016
Sunset at Galley Beach

Fairy tales can come true; it can happen to you… if you’re young at heart…   What were your dreams when you were young? When you married? With a bow to the realities of life, we can still make our dreams come true. I dreamed of owning a summer home in Santa Fe, where we vacationed with the children—an escape from Texas heat; of restoring …

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Those Sinkholes Called Holidays

July 3, 2016
fine artMurraryBeach St. storeBeach St. t-shirt shopBroad St. shopChildrenyouth violinist 1home shopMain St. with its cobblestone street & gas lightsLady LibertyLilly 1Lilly 2Main St. storeMitchellyouth violinist #2Nina McLemoreRalph Laurenthe ice cream shopWhite Elephant restaurantharbor--with the lights on masts of tall sailboats

More than six years later, I still panic at the thought of holidays as a widow…without Lev. Frankly, nothing can make me happy, because I want the holidays to be like they used to be–when he was alive. Joyce Carol Oates named them well–sinkholes–and the poet Elizabeth Alexander used the word in her memoir of grief as well. The word is apt. I’m going along, …

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