husband

Resolved: To Schedule Priorities

February 2, 2017
Scheduling priorities

A friend who traveled this road many years before I did said, “I am a better person because I lost my husband. I am kinder, nicer, sweeter. I have my priorities in order. I know what matters.” I had to agree. “Yes, you are. And so am I.” As she had, I re-ordered my priorities after Lev’s death. I asked myself the question: How do …

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Resolved: To Be Healthy

January 19, 2017
Bartlett Farm truck

Most New Year’s Resolutions are goals to change. This year most of mine are not. As I prepare to officially enter the “fourth stage of life,” that period from 76 until death (a depressing subject I prefer to ignore), I am spending more time than usual evaluating where I am and where I want to be. I want to become more proactive in cultivating habits …

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How Much Is Safe to Spend?

October 20, 2016
Pray for the best

The question raised in the headline nags at me. Should you save enough to live to 100? The subhead promises that “here are ways to insulate yourself against outliving your money”—everyone’s fear—but the recommendations are almost opposite those I received from my husband’s professional advisors after I became a widow in 2009. Instead, the writer seems to say, “Oh, chances are you won’t live that …

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Searching for Your Happy Place?

October 4, 2016
My Happy Place

Home Alone on Nantucket Are you looking for your happy place? a place where you can escape the memories of your former life as half a couple and build a new life alone? I stumbled upon Nantucket four years after my husband’s death, not even knowing what I was looking for. I did not throw a dart at a U.S. map to pick my destination …

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Mothers and Daughters

August 4, 2016
Mirror, mirror on the wall

After my husband died, I worried about my future. I had been robbed of the most significant person in my life. And every holiday, every major life event where Lev was absent was a new robbery, new bereavement. The losses kept coming, and our family was not prepared. Nobody warned us that death was only the first loss. When I did not fall apart immediately …

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Rebuilding an Abundant Life

June 30, 2016

At least I was forewarned that they wouldn’t give me time to grieve when my husband died. Within a week I was confronted with harsh realities that could not be ignored or postponed. I describe that period in an article entitled FROM GRIEF TO JOY: REBUILDING AN ABUNDANT LIFE in the summer issue of Women & Wealth Magazine, published by Brown Brothers Harriman.

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Helen: My Role Model for Widowhood

May 26, 2016
Helen

I never guessed that Helen, my mother-in-law, would become my role model for widowhood. Lev’s dad was killed in a plane crash when Lev was only 13 and his mother 39. About 18 months later, Helen married Russell; and for more than 20 years, they enjoyed the good life together. Then, in her early 60s, she was widowed again. I recalled her announcement shortly after …

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Solace or Sinkhole?

March 31, 2016
Nantucket church steeple

Part 2: The spiritual aspect of grief I was so smugly sure last week that I was prepared for Easter. I had taken precautions to avoid sinkholes, inviting family and friends to a big meal after church and spending the preceding days decorating my house and table, planning my menu and cooking. All of that was good; and in the end, the day was good. …

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Family Unity Matters

November 1, 2015

Key 3: Seek unity and a shared purpose. Through the years I have heard the warning, “Be careful how you treat your children because they will pick your nursing home.” After Lev died, I needed my children desperately: Their blessings, their approval, and—most of all—their presence. I needed to feel needed. That surprised them. My daughter said later, “I never thought of you as a …

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14 Tips for Safe Solo Travel

September 15, 2015

Since travel played such a large role in my journey from grief to joy as a new widow, I have blogged almost weekly on the subject in the five months since I created my website. I listed what I had learned from the past six years of travel, and I had few readers when I got started. I am concluding this series with a revision …

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