widows

Really? I’m an author?

October 13, 2017
Ella at desk

With a contract for RECLAIMING JOY, I can now legitimately call myself an author with a forthcoming book. Those words have very specific meaning in the publishing world, and I have to pinch myself to make sure I haven’t dreamed it. After having an unfinished manuscript hanging over my head for more than three years, I am not quite sure what I do next. I …

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When Stress and Diet Collide

September 8, 2017
egg muffins

Stress and diet are an impossible combination, at least for me. In the years of Lev’s declining health, I gained 10 pounds. After his death, I gained 10 more. In the 28 months I have been blogging, I have written often about widows’ need for self-care and healthy eating, and I have shared my efforts to get my weight under control. I did well for …

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Another Easter, Another Sinkhole

April 13, 2017
Easter lily

Pride goeth before a fall. I did not anticipate pre-Easter anxiety. I thought the weekend was all planned. I presumed too much—about myself and about my plans. During two years of blogging about grief and my snail-pace journey to reclaim joy, I have written repeatedly about those sinkholes called holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. They are tough markers for all who have lost loved ones. Widows, …

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Memoirs Help Normalize Grief

May 5, 2016
On My Own

Grief experts agree that widows get too much advice—too many people telling them how to grieve, how long to grieve, when to make decisions, when to move on. What works for one person may not work for another. There is no single right or wrong way to mourn the loss of a spouse. Nevertheless, most books on grief are how-to books written in second-person. Self-help …

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Friends: An Unexpected Loss

April 21, 2016
with friends in Nantucket

The Social Aspect of Grief Ours had been a social world of couples, and our friends and acquaintances called within a month or two after Lev’s death to invite me out to dinner. Sometimes, these turned out to be one-time obligatory gestures. Just as we had not thought to mix singles and couples in our social life, not all of our old friends continued to …

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Easter Hope: Celebrating Resurrection

March 24, 2016
Horseshoe Bay

Part 1: The Spiritual Aspect of Grief Lev was buried on Maundy Thursday, seven years ago. It seems like yesterday…and a lifetime ago. The approach of Easter is much more a reminder to me of his death/my loss than the calendar date, April 7. While I have written often about those sinkholes called holidays, Easter is not a sinkhole for me, for the resurrection story …

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Announcing a New Blog Schedule

February 7, 2016

After nine months of Sunday blogs about widowhood, I’m changing my blogging schedule to once weekly on Thursday,  to free up time to finish my book, RECLAIMING JOY: A PRIMER FOR WIDOWS. I blogged every day the first two months, then cut back to three days a week for the remainder of 2015. However, my Sunday blogs never had the readership that weekday blogs have. I started …

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Home Alone and (Almost) Ambulatory

January 17, 2016
leg propped on walker

Home alone. I managed to dodge my greatest fear for almost seven years—being sick at home by myself. Few widows want their children to physically care for them, but the alternatives seem worse to me—a stranger in my house who might rifle through my papers or steal small items, a rehab or extended care facility. I simply am not ready to be dependent! Actually, I …

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!

January 1, 2016

My list of New Year’s Resolutions isn’t written on paper yet—in fact, I seldom make Resolutions—but they are clear in my mind. This year I am driven by the knowledge that I will have knee surgery in 11 days. What will I do during those weeks of recovery? I have pondered that question since my torn meniscus was discovered last August. Erasing my calendar for …

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Pitching in the Elevator

October 20, 2015

I finally have my elevator pitch! Ever since I started writing 17 months ago, I have stammered when asked to describe my book. After I finished the fourth draft of the first chapter last winter, my independent editor told me it was time to get a website and start blogging, in preparation for writing my book proposal and finding a literary agent. As I began to …

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