12 Keys to Reclaiming Joy

October 6, 2016
1 Ph 1-92 Ph 1-103 Ph 2.24 Ph 2-45 Ph 2-146  Ph 2-29Advent wreath illuminated by candlelight8  Ph 4-69 Ph 4-810 Ph 4-1111 Ph 4-1312 Ph 4-18

Weekly Meditations to Prepare Your Heart for the Holidays paraphrased from the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church at Philippi With wisdom and discernment, grow in love for others. 1:9 “Love…Knowledge…Discernment” Be sincere and blameless, approving all that is excellent. 1:10 “Sincere…Blameless…Excellent” Seek unity and a shared purpose. 2:2 “Family Unity Matters” Look out for others’ best interests, not only your own. 2:4 “De Tocqueville’s Advice for Widows” Do all things without grumbling …

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Mothers and Daughters

August 4, 2016
Mirror, mirror on the wall

After my husband died, I worried about my future. I had been robbed of the most significant person in my life. And every holiday, every major life event where Lev was absent was a new robbery, new bereavement. The losses kept coming, and our family was not prepared. Nobody warned us that death was only the first loss. When I did not fall apart immediately …

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Starting Over

June 2, 2016
diet handbook

A year ago, I began a diet that called for eliminating carbs and fats for two weeks, while eating large amounts of lean meat and vegetables plus a small amount of low-fat dairy products. Gradually, I added small amounts of fruits and carbs, while reducing the protein. It worked. I was never hungry, and I lost about three pounds a week at the beginning, 20 …

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Memoirs Help Normalize Grief

May 5, 2016
On My Own

Grief experts agree that widows get too much advice—too many people telling them how to grieve, how long to grieve, when to make decisions, when to move on. What works for one person may not work for another. There is no single right or wrong way to mourn the loss of a spouse. Nevertheless, most books on grief are how-to books written in second-person. Self-help …

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Solace or Sinkhole?

March 31, 2016
Nantucket church steeple

Part 2: The spiritual aspect of grief I was so smugly sure last week that I was prepared for Easter. I had taken precautions to avoid sinkholes, inviting family and friends to a big meal after church and spending the preceding days decorating my house and table, planning my menu and cooking. All of that was good; and in the end, the day was good. …

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Easter Hope: Celebrating Resurrection

March 24, 2016
Horseshoe Bay

Part 1: The Spiritual Aspect of Grief Lev was buried on Maundy Thursday, seven years ago. It seems like yesterday…and a lifetime ago. The approach of Easter is much more a reminder to me of his death/my loss than the calendar date, April 7. While I have written often about those sinkholes called holidays, Easter is not a sinkhole for me, for the resurrection story …

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Amazing Peace

December 17, 2015
Corpus Christi bayfront

In this climate of fear and apprehension, Christmas enters, Streaming lights of joy, ringing bells of hope And singing carols of forgiveness high up in the bright air. The world is encouraged to come away from rancor, Come the way of friendship. … We clap hands and welcome the Peace of Christmas, We beckon this good season to wait awhile with us. We, Baptist and …

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Advent: A Season of Hope

November 29, 2015
Advent wreath Ph. 3:13

Key 7: Let go of the past; embrace the future. Throughout November I focused on gratitude. Now I want to turn my attention to hope and anticipation. It’s a natural progression, for the connection between gratitude and hope is strong. Without gratitude for the past and the present, we will have difficulty finding hope for the future. Advent can serve as our springboard. Today is …

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October 18, 2015

Nothing prepared me for widowhood. That first month I was completely overwhelmed. I misplaced everything I set down, including Lev’s wallet with all his identity inside. I had amnesia. I still cannot remember much that was said and done, for I lived in a fog. There were days when I crawled back in bed and pulled the covers over my head. I had panic attacks. …

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Widows: Alone in a Crowd

September 6, 2015

As most of you know, I am currently putting the finishing touches on my book, Reclaiming Joy: A Primer for Widows, in which I recount snippets of my own struggle, as well as the experiences of others and the observations of the “experts.” Today, I would like to ask for your feedback and observations about some of the toughest challenges. My journey from grief and …

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